Bar Etiquette

Alcohol is a way of life here in the Czech Republic. I don't mean to say that Prague is like one big, never-ending Frat party, (even if for some that is not far off) but Czechs take alcohol seriously and don't find anything wrong with drinking. Most Czechs try alcohol well before they hit their teens. The legal drinking age here is 18, while the age of consent is 15. Don't get me started.

Now, take some American kids who have not been allowed to drink legally before and ship them off to a foreign country where the beer is cheap and they can legally consume whatever and however much they want. You now have a recipe for why Europeans hate Americans. No etiquette. Americans are loud, bossy and seem to have no idea that there are other people in the world. Not all Americans, but enough for me to group them together.

Going to a bar should be a fun thing to do - not a time where you feel like you have to keep your defenses up. But, alas it is not always the case. Many times here (and in the states) I have encountered bad etiquette in bars. Some if it gets to the point of harassment. I have been yelled at and called a bitch, followed home, grabbed, pushed and man handled. And not all of the above offenses have been perpetrated by men. Women are just as big of assholes as men are. So, without further ado, here is a simple list of "rules" to follow in a bar to make sure that you and your friends are not the douche bags everyone is talking about the next day.

1. Don't buy or accept drinks from strangers. Sure it seems fun to get a free drink, or feel like "the man" when you buy a pink beverage for a woman, but think about it. The woman in question might feel uncomfortable about it and feel like she "owes" the guy something. And the guy kind of comes off like he is trying to hard. So ladies, buy your own drinks and if you like him, talk to him anyway. And you don't want to be "that girl" at the bar who just gets wasted off free drinks.  (And if you DO accept a drink, don't be an asshole and choose something expensive.)
2. Leave her alone the FIRST time she says no. That's right guys, the FIRST time. She's probably not being coy or flirtatious, she probably really wants you to go away. So go away. If she wants to talk to you, she'll come talk to you. But don't be the bar pest who thinks he will break through to her. We have a name for that guy  - asshole.
3. Don't get wasted and pathetic. Ladies, this one is mostly for us. Being turned down or rejected totally sucks and feels like poo, but it is no reason to drown your sorrows in cosmopolitan's and confront the poor guy who wasn't interested in your drunk ass. If you are wasted, grinding up on a guy, and yelling "I am SO wasted!" and he STILL isn't interested - maybe it's you, not him.
4. Don't abandon your girlfriend - unless she wants you to. You guys got all dolled up together, planned cute outfits and bought each other rounds of drinks. Don't wander off without telling her, and don't leave her with that dude she just met. I have been abandoned by my lady friends when I needed them most and had to fend off some tremendous jerks all alone. Stick together. If she likes the guy and he doesn't seem like a serial killer, then fine. But be a pal and make sure.
5. Don't be THAT GUY. You know "that guy". He comes into the bar with a pack of friends who all seem to have popped collars and khaki pants on. They are already wasted. They yell a lot. They have a mission. "That guy" is their leader and he sucks. He picks fights with other dudes and calls women names when the refuse his advances. If you see "that guy" leave the bar and go some place else.

See? I told you it was pretty simple. Just use common sense and try to respect other people. We all like to get fucked up and have fun every once in a while, but just don't include anybody in your fun if they don't want to be included. Capiche?

A Life Without Mexican

I am a California girl, born and raised. There are a couple of stereotypes that come to mind when people hear that, and a few of them are true of me. I am blond. I like the ocean. I am tan. But there are some things about being a native Californian that don't just come to mind. For example, all Southern Californian's are experts in smog levels, UV protection in sunscreen and determining ETA allowing for traffic. We are also all aficionados of Mexican food.  Mexican food is by far my favorite cuisine. I love the fancy stuff almost as much as I love Taco truck. I adore the smells, the colors and the pure zazz that is Mexican food. 

And yet I choose to live in a country that houses little to zero GOOD Mexican food. The problem being that there are little to no actual Mexican people here in the land of spires. I often wonder why I like it here so much seeing as how it is about as different from So Cal as you can get: freezing winters full of snow, land locked, spice free and devoid of Mexican food that actually tastes like Mexican food.

There are a few places here in Prague that serve Mexican food - but most of them wouldn't know a chimichanga from a quesadilla. My friends and I often hit up the happy hour at the very popular Banditos Restaurant. The food and beer come cheap, but we are under no illusions that we are actually eating Mexican food. Last time I checked taco's didn't have ground beef as a filling. It is the "American Fast Food" version of Mexican. It's fine, but it ain't Mexican. There is also Cantina, but that is across the river so it might as well actually be in Mexico.

By far the best Mexican food I have found here is Las Adelitas. I went there for the first time a few weeks ago and was shocked when I walked through the doors and smelled actual re-fried beans. The song playing was one I remembered from my time living south of the border, and the nice man who took my order was Mexican. The place is run by some folks that hail from Mexico. And I was sold. The food passed the Alicia test.

People often ask me if I miss living in the US - and my answer is always the same: No. Sure I miss things like Target and shrimp burritos, but that is by no means a good reason for me to move back to the land of plenty of everything. Sure, it sucks that Prague cuisine isn't the best in the world and that Czechs idea of spice is salt, but I am still happy to behere. I appreciate everything in my life a little more now - especially a good burrito. 

Whitest Oscars?

The Oscar Nominations are out and so are the complainers. I have read numerous articles saying that this years list of nominees (in the major acting categories) is "the whitest group" in the past ten years. Give me a fucking break. 

That's right. I think this is stupid, and maybe after I explain myself you'll agree with me. 

So, last year there were a bunch of minorities nominated for a bunch of different things. They even let a movie that was directed by a woman (!) win for best picture. Heck, she even became the first female to win Best Director. It should be noted that the movie in question was not a "female themed" movie. "The Hurt Locker" was a drama about military folks and war and bombs and stuff. Not your typical "chick flick".

I bring this up because a lot of people are complaining that more minorities should benominated, but no one seems to be saying that more minorities should just be in better movies. One complaint is that there need to be more movies with "African-American" themes, and then we would have more black Oscar contenders. I don't agree with this logic. Anyone who has seen even ONE Tyler Perry movie can tell you that not all Afro-American themed films are equal. Halle Berry was in a film called "Frankie and Alice" this year, and people thought she should be given a nod. But, sorry to tell you, she wasn't THAT good. And either was that movie. It had all been done before - and better. I know I am going to get crap for this, but she didn't deserve the Oscar she actually won.

Here is the problem. You have some very talented actors in Hollywood who wield a great deal of power. Oprah. Halle. Denzel. Javier Bardem. Will Smith. (The list goes on and on) But what projects are they taking on that would lead them down the Red Carpet? If my goal was to get a nomination you bet your ass I wouldn't have made a movie like "The Wolfman", or spent my money making unnecessary remakes of 80's classics staring my offspring. (Are you listening Will Smith? No one wanted to see the lame remake of the Karate Kid. And you can bet you bottom dollar that no one will want to see your daughter butcher Annie.) Denzel Washington - and you can read my thoughts on himHERE - made not one, but two craptastic films last year. Are we supposed to reward him for that? And worse yet, are we supposed to reward him the fact that he is black? 

Sure, there are a lot of white actors nominated this year and I bet they all feel really bad about the fact that they are white right about now. Is this the whitest Oscar race in ten years? Sure, I guess so. If you are looking for it to be. But maybe it is just another reason to complain. You want better movies with minorities in leading roles? MAKE THEM. Stop making total schlock like "Our Family Wedding". Stop remaking already good movies like "Death at a Funeral" - for a "black audience". Maybe we just need to let Pedro Almodovar direct every movie from now on. Because his movies are awesome, filled with all sorts of minorities (and gays! and women!)  who are not regulated to the sidelines or part of some weird sub culture. They are main characters with histories and regular lives to lead. And that is something any person can relate to.

Work It Out

I have a confession to make. I am more than slightly obsessed with the television show "The Biggest Loser". Not only does the show have an awesome name, but it is informative and downright entertaining. I know I'll get in trouble for this, but there is a little part of me that absolutely loves to watch Jillian Michaels yell at morbidly obese people. There is a guy on this season that weighed 500lbs at the start of the show. I think once you get to be that big (he said he doesn't call the pizza place anymore, they just bring pizza to him every night at 8:00) it's time for some tough love. 

I have always been the worlds least healthy "health nut". By this I mean I really love to learn about food and nutrition and exercise but I hate vegetables and I only run if someone is chasing me. I am fascinated at what we put into our bodies and how that can affect everything from your heath to your face and skin. I know exactly what to do to be a healthy person. I have just chosen not to do any of it until now.

If you read this blog you already know I have given up smoking. Really! I go out to bars in Europe and I don't light a cigarette! Amazing. Please believe me when I tell you that this takes extreme will power. But, I am well on the road to recovery. I will be totally honest here and tell you that I have cheated. A friend gave me a cigarette to walk home with the other night and I did not enjoy it! I threw it out. It is the same with food. I know that sugar is bad for me and will not make me look the way I want, so no sugar.

I feel that by watching The Biggest Loser I am motivating myself to be a better me. I mean if that guy who weighs 500lbs can workout everyday for like seven hours, then I can go to the gosh darn gym three times a week. Sure I don't have trainers pushing me or the chance to win a million dollars, but I don't need it. I have will power and determination. And that's all it takes really. Well, that and hard work. But I can do that. Being lazy is a lifestyle choice that leads to unflattering pictures, more knowledge about America's Next Top Model than anyone really needs, and sleeping alone. And none of these things is acceptable for me. 

My Name is not Sweetheart - Hollaback!

Very few men know what it is like to worry about going someplace alone. Men don't have to think of what they are wearing, what time it is, or what neighborhood they are going to. Men probably don't worry about what time they leave and they probably don't have a "plan" for getting home after a night out with friends. Most men probably don't think about where they are sitting in a bar and whether or not it leaves them "open" for conversations - both welcome and unwelcome.

But women do. Women worry about all of these things every time we leave the house. And it sucks. It sucks because it isn't fair. I hate that some guys assume that just because I am sitting alone it means i want to talk to them. (Nope.) I hate that I sometimes am forced to take a taxi home late at night while my male friends walk home for free. I hate that when walking down the street I get told things like "You are hot, bitch" or "Would you like to have sex with me?" Because all women are just WAITING for that special stranger to rudely approach them and ask for sex.

I am not alone in this feeling. Recently a new movement has sprung up called "HollaBack! Czech and it is helping women empower themselves against assholes of all kinds and caliber. This could mean verbal harassment or actual assault, both of which have happened to me. The site encourages women to tell their stories and identify where it happened and who the creep was that did the damage. The thought being that if enough of us stand tall and say, "Hey fella! Fuck you!" then maybe, just maybe we can get some of this to stop. 

I have already submitted one story to the HollaBack! Czech site, and I plan on writing for them as much as they'll have me. This is something that is very important to me. I am tired of having to explain that a woman alone is not an invitation, she is simply alone. A woman walking down the street is not "asking" for your gross attention, she is simply walking down the street.

Just like you were not "asking" for me to kick you in the nuts when you grabbed my ass.

It goes both ways, sweetheart.


http://czech.ihollaback.org/