Things I've Left Behind

People don't seem to go very far. We don't migrate, we fear change and what is unknown scares the bejeezus right out of us. Some people "go off" to college and then return to the safety of their home town with a new and seemingly broader view of the world. Some people spend two weeks out of the year traveling to a foreign country and looking at the things they are supposed to look at and snapping pictures to show friends and family. It's all well and good, and I guess its better than nothing, but none of it has the complete and utter terrifying feeling of leaving it all behind and starting over.

Four years ago I did just that. I packed a suitcase and went to Prague with no idea of what was in store for me. I look back at the person I was when I got here (See THIS entry) and I see that I am a completely different person now. I arrived here scared, alone and clueless. Now? Well, now I am too cool for school! Seriously! I got on a bus alone and travelled 12 hours into Mexico last year! The old me would have never done that. And, I have Prague to thank for it.

Living and working here has changed me in a million different ways. First off, I feel really cool because I have so many friends all over the world. I think that living your life surrounded by people you have always known doesn't force you to  build new connections. Just from my TEFL course alone, I now boast friends in Paris, Germany, Korea, Italy, Mexico and of course Prague. Sure, some people go right back to America, but a lot of people decide that seeing the world is a better way to spend their time. My friends back in the states always say, "I wish I could do something like that..." and my response is always the same: "You can. Just do it."

Sure, I don't speak the language and I have not travelled as much as I would like, but I got time. I miss my friends and family, but I would miss them wether I lived in Oakland or Europe. Prague is my home now. It is where I work, play and sleep. Just like all of you reading this in your home - I am writing it in mine.

The only difference is that I travelled a long way to discover where my home really is.

Hit Me and I'll Hit You Back

Summer time in Prague usually means one thing: spending long, warm nights at the Riegrovy Sady beer garden and park. They have a big screen for watching sport events like the world cup, or bad pop music videos on the rare occasion that there is no sport to watch. The beers are cheap and plentiful and you will usually run into someone you know wether you want to or not. It's the best part about summertime in this city.

And anyone who has lived in Prague for more than a year knows the worst part. No, I am not talking about the influx of American study abroad kids, or even the Italian tourist and their loud shoes and voices. No, I am talking about the glorious odor that rises up from this city in the summer months - specifically on public transportation. That's right: B.O. I have said it before and I'll say it again: Please PLEASE, Czech men! Wear some deodorant and button up that shirt! No one needs to see a fifty year old guy walking around with a big belly hanging out, and then realize that he stinks too. What is wrong with people?

And this summer, I have had the rare pleasure of being the victim of yet another public transportation foible. Violence. Not once, but twice, I have found myself on the ground due to someone rushing off, or to public transport. The first was a Czech man who pushed me (with two hands!) off of the 133 bus onto the ground and then LEAPED over me. The second, this time two American girls, knocked me over while running down the hill to catch a tram. They didn't stop as they yelled "I'm sorry".

I am not blaming Prague for this, because there are assholes in every city. But, I am pointing a finger of shame to the general lack of courtesy in this country. I know people who have been pushed, shoved and yelled at on the Metro. A few years back I was pushed down the metro escalator by an angry old Czech lady. How hard is it to be nice? How difficult is it to give up your seat to someone - even if you don't want to? I am hoping that these have been isolated incidents and not a precursor of things to come, because between the rudeness and the vuvuzelas - someone is going to um, get a really stern talking to.

This Omnivore's Dilemma

Not many people know this about me, but in my younger days I wanted to be a Nutritionist. I absolutely loved learning about food and the different ways what you put into your body could effect your health both inside and out. I say not many people know this about me because - those of you who have intimate and personal knowledge of me know that I have the eating habits of a five year old - most of the time. I have been known to have popcorn and gummy bears for dinner. I have gone weeks without eating any REAL fruit or vegetables. Sugar is my joy. I love fine dining and all of the fatty trimmings that go along with it. I am a paradox when it comes to food. I know what is good for me, but I just don't do it.

I have tried a few of the "Diet Fads" that American's are so eager to embrace. A few years ago Byron and I did a month long "Raw Food" cleanse. And cleanse it did. My colon was pristine! We were allowed to eat only fruits and vegetables - nothing processed or cooked - so that left out all dairy, alcohol and sugar. Ugh. I hated every day of it. We also had to drink these nasty shakes with some sort of CLAY in it. Ugh again. I did notice a big difference in my skin, and my weight, but this life style tasted horrible and was far too drastic for me. I also did the Atkins thing for a minute until lack of carbs turned me into a raving bitch who, for the first time in my life, craved apples. I came to the conclusion that any "diet" that forbade fruit in favor of pork rinds was kind of screwy.

Now, I am about 15 pounds over weight and about 40 pages from finishing the incredible book called " The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan, and it seems I have come to my own dilemma. Do I continue to eat meat the way I always have? Or, do I stop? I have seen the film "Food Inc" which sucessfully got me thinking about food, and where it comes from. And I am about to watch the film "Earthlings" and might be humming a different tune in an 1.5 hours. But, until then, my personal dilemma is this: I don't live in America anymore. High Frutose corn syrup has been banned here. So, thats good. Factory farms don't exist here the way they do in America. so... off to watch the movie!

Okay, okay, where to begin... Let's begin here. This post is about food. Period. I have always been opposed to fur, circuses, zoos, rodeos, hunting and pretty much all entertainment where animals are hurt or killed. It is pointless.

Food is not pointless.

The dilemma for the meat eater is: How can I continue to eat meat, when I know what I know? Pollan notes in his book that humans have ALWAYS eaten meat - our teeth are the way they are in order to tear meat, and our stomaches are designed to digest it. So, I don't have a problem with eating meat, not in its general idea. Many animals kill each other for food. But, humans seem to be the only animals that kill far more than they could possibly need. And not only are we killing more than we can possibly eat, we are feeding these animals food, hormones, and antibiotics that are in turn making us sick. This not only seems backward but it is wrong. And it is our own doing.

I am not one of those people who pretends not to know where my hamburger comes from. I get it. But what I was unaware of was the fact that these animals are being fed CORN.
Cows don't eat corn, yet American factory farms feed cows corn. And, since the cows don't like corn, they also get fed antibiotics. Now, does that make sense? No. The reason is that corn makes the cows fat at a faster rate, making it possible to kill more of them. Same with chickens and pigs. We all know about the awful living conditions and the ways in which the animals die, which is why so many people have turned to "organic". But, sorry to tell you that "organic" cows are still factory cows. Ugh.

I turned to the film "Earthling" for some answers. I was a little more than displeased with the results. The film "Earthling" was a "documentary" about all life forms on earth and how humans are bad. It was more like propaganda. Or a snuff film. It was full of phrases like "... harrowing death march...", and unbearable scenes of cats, dogs, pigs cows, elephants and more being killed at the hands of humans. Sometimes with undue brutality. I use the word DOCUMENTARY in quotes because this film had a very obvious bias. From the sad music played throughout, to the weepy tone of the narration, I was a bit turned off. At one point they compared the killing of animals to the Jewish in the holocaust. (Seriously!?) My film critique aside, it did bring to vivid color the "slaughterhouse" that Pollan writes about. And, I for one don't want to eat a chicken that has been sitting in its own poop for three months. I don't want to eat a cow that is hopped up on antibiotics. And heck, I just feel bad for the pig that doesn't get to root its oinker in the dirt and gets his tail cut off.

So, the dilemma rears its ugly head. What does a thinking, feeling person do? Well, if I was still living in america I think I might seriously consider being a vegetarian. Aside from the facts stated above, I absolutely HATE the fact that about 2-4 HUGE companies own ALL OF THE FOOD IN AMERICA. That is from meat to produce. Its the best reason I can think of to start a garden or shop at farmers markets. And. the meat production is the worst offenders as far as "fucked up stuff happening to your food" is concerned."

But here I am living in the CZ. I eat some meat. That is to say, I don't eat meat at every meal, and not even every day. I like a burger now and again, and I enjoy some deli meats. But, as my man Emmerson once said, "You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity." I know that meat production in THIS country is not as it is in America, I just don't know exactly how different it is. I don't know if they feed cows corn here, or put thousands of chickens all together. I DO know that the bastard hands of MONSANTO have a plant here, and that worries me.

My wish is for more places that respect animals, places like Polyface Farm. A family operation that raises all natural meat and eggs by using the power and nature of the animals themselves. It's pretty amazing, and I bet tasty. And I wouldn't feel bad for one second eating a chicken that was free of drugs, hung out outside its whole life and helped fertilize grass along the way. I think that is the point. We have taken our "food" so far away from nature that we have a huge disconnect. We eat in the car, in front of the TV, when we are not hungry. For me, being a conscious eater has to be the first step. Once I stop consuming more than my share then I will feel better about what I do purchase, wether it be meat, potatoes or gummy bears.

But for now, I am not altogether swayed to give up meat. I will adopt a healthier diet. When I visit the U.S. in a few weeks I will be a big old salad consumer, but I will still eat meat. Thats just the way this little cookie crumbles.

What I've Learned

Way back in June of 2006, one of my first posts was called "I know nothing, but if I did..." It's all about things I have learned so far in my life. As I re-read my list of what I know for sure, things I have learned I noticed that most of them are still true. That's good. that means that I actually DID learn them and was not talking out of my ass. But, as I have been living in a foreign country for 4 years, I think I have a few things to add to that list.
Ahem...

1. Pack light.
2. Live light. Too much stuff is too much stuff. Live with more of what you need and less of what you WANT.
3. Balance is the key to EVERYTHING.
4. Loving someone means listening with your mouth shut.
5. I actually CAN live off of potatoes and gummie bears
6. I am a sucker for kindness.
7. You cannot lose 10 pounds just by WATCHING "The Biggest Loser"
8. A great deal of the people I went to high school with turned out EXACTLY like their parents.
9. If you have never LIVED in another country, another culture, then you have a very limited world view. This is why most of Europe laughs at Americans.
10. Prague is an amazing city. The Czech people are ... interesting. I'm home.
11. Get the Visa. It's worth the hassle.
12. I am pretty.
13. Dads are real important to little girls. Moms are too, but dads are different.
14. "Walk it off" applies to emotions as well.
15. You shouldn't just ricochet through life.
16. If somebody loves you, LET THEM LOVE YOU.
17. Never drink 5 beers at the Prague Beer Festival.
18. Dance. Dance. Dance.
19. Being broke and happy is far better tha having money and being unhappy.
20. Don't worry about things in the PAST. It's OVER. MOVE ON. And don't plan the future to much - you never know when you will find yourself in a new city and just decide to stay forever.

SEXIST and the City

Dammit! I said I wasn't going to do this, and yet here I am typing away about what promises to be the worst film of the year - Sex and the City 2. Now, to be fair to myself, this isn't entirely about the movie - in fact - the movie is merely a catalyst for this little rant. I haven't seen the film, and honestly since the last one was so terrible, I have no plans to subject myself to its sequel. Even IF Liza Minielli is in it. No, this blog entry is about...well.. the problem with feminists. Hear me out.

A dear friend of mine sent me THIS ARTICLE rightly thinking it would interest me. And boy did it. The article claims that reviews of SATC2 are unjust and "sexist" because some reviewers are making horrible comments - not about the film itself, but about the actors looks. She goes on to call it misogynistic. Um...

Right off the bat I had a problem with the author of this piece. She obviously doesn't know jack about cinema since one of her complaints about SATC2 was "overlong set pieces". What the fuck does that even mean? She goes on to say, "Oddly, though, for a film written by a man, the critics' insults were reserved for women, in a dazzling display of put-downs." Beg to differ hun. In almost every review I have read the fact that the script SUCKS is written about, and written about a lot. Although SHE seems to be the only one pointing out that the script was written by a man. So, strike one.

She then complains that words like "greedy, faithless, spoiled, patronising . . . morons" are sexist and have nothing to do with reviewing the film. Sorry toots - gonna have to disagree with you again. The SATC franchise is built around 4 women, sex and clothes. Its in the fucking title. When a reviewer states: "These girls are so hung up on looking great they've forgotten there are several ways to be ugly." it is a completely fair review of a film that bases entire plot lines around looks. Calling the Samantha character a "blonde slut" is not sexist, it is observant. Is it nice? no. And it ain't sexist either. The film panders to women and women are buying it. I think if we are going to put on a day-glo halter and sleep with half of Manhatten, we can't get upset when someone calls us a slut. We can't go crying 'SEXIST" every time someone calls us ugly. Heck, when the last Indiana Jones movie came out most film reviewers noted how OLD and WRINKLED and OUT OF SHAPE Harrison Ford was, but nobody said that was sexist.

The writer then proceeds to diminish any integrity she has by comparing SATC2 with the likes of Roman Polanski, and Lars Von Trier. She calls these men "rapists" and "famous misogynist". W O W. These are two of the greatest directors of our time, but she boils them down stereo-types, which I guess is an alright thing to do as long as you are a woman.

Lars Von Trier is an amazing director and his films do in fact show brutality towards women - but if she thinks that is what his films are about then she is missing the point entirely. His films are centered around women. He LOVES women! He used his production company to spearhead "female friendly" porn! And, maybe she needs to sit down and watch "Dogville" which brutally shows the intolerance of American society. His films show how difficult women have it, and what it might be like to love someone with passion and intensity. And don't get me started on Polanski! She says, "Reviewers do not appear to despise a real
rapist such as Polanski, but they do seem to despise four fictional women who are portraying mildly silly lives."So, now we are supposed to DESPISE Roman Polanski - a man who has directed some of the most ground breaking cinema EVER because of his past. Thats a great idea. Even the victim says she had "gotten over it a long time ago", and wants the charges dropped.

If being a feminist means that women are always right, and that I have to hate men for no good reason, or for someone else's reasons - then I don't want to join the club. Sometimes women are UGLY. It doesn't make me a sexist to say so. What makes you sexist is to think that men are bad and women are awesome - even when they are not. Calling an actress ugly is not a crime. If you make a movie about looking good and being sexy and you don't deliver then you had better brace yourself for the nastiness that will follow.

Now, I think I am going to watch Rosemary's Baby. A movie that REALLY changed fashion, feminism and cinema. And was directed by that rapist.

I'm too Sexy for this Job

I have often joked about the fact that I have had just about every job you can think of. I have been a waitress, a bartender, a "barista", a cook, coffee server, sandwich maker, Phone girl at a pizza joint and even the girl who "seats" you at your table. (Billings party of six? Right this way.) I have been a receptionist, an Admin, a clerk, an assistant, an assistant to the admin (I still don't know exactly what that was), and data entry specialist - i.e. you sit in a room with no windows and type information into a computer. I have sold clothes, books, fine pens and stationery, fancy invitations, pizza, coffee and food. I have been an employee, a manager, a co-manager and an "acting" manager. I have been a tour guide, a karaoke hostess, a teacher, a writer and a few other things I just cant remember. All of this to say: I have had PLENTY experience in the American work force.

In every one of these jobs there was "appearance guidelines". Some places had strict dress codes: As a tour guide I had to wear a suit to work everyday. Some of the offices I worked in didn't like women to wear "provocative" clothing or open toed shoes. The bookstore didn't want its employees to have hair of an "unnatural" color, or tattoos. The pizza place gave me a uniform, and as a waitress I either wore the customary white shirt and black slacks, or the skin tight "please tip me because I have huge boobs" shirt. Some of these rules were for safety and others were just old rules from an old era. The idea was to look "professional" - whatever that means. But, when you work for someone else, you have to play by their rules. You learn to suck it up. Most of the time.

I recall two instances in particular where my looks (and clothing) were called into question. The first was when I worked for Nextel Communications. My job was to sit at a desk and wait for the phone to ring. When it did I would schedule people into training classes so that they could learn how to use their mobil phone. (I know. Seriously.) At any rate, I worked in a CLOSED office with no windows and I never saw a client face to face. I was therefor allowed to wear casual clothes. I usually wore jeans and a nice shirt, or a T-Shirt and sneakers. Oh, did I mention that I have big boobs? Yeah, well. One day I got called into the managers office due to a complaint about my clothing. A shirt was too low cut, or tight or something. Long story short - I was dressed completely within the dress code and they couldn't do anything. Who complained? A WOMAN.

Jump ahead a few years to RICOH Business Systems. This time I am a receptionist. I am the front line. No problem. I can do business dress. And I do. But, on a casual work day, I wore a cute and stylish pair of capri's. Yep. Called into the office - this time I am "too casual for a casual work day". Who complained? THE WOMEN. Well, the next day I came to work in a tight skirt, 3 inch heels and a hot little top. I paraded around the office with the dress code in my hot little hand. Fuck 'em.

The way I see it, a woman just can't win in corporate America. You can't get a job in the first place if you are not good looking enough. Then, once you have the job THIS happens to you. I honestly couldn't believe this when I read it. It is discrimination, and it is just plain unfair. A woman is damed if she dresses down, and she is damed if she dresses up. Holding women responsible for the way men react to their appearance is just absurd. I mean really think about this conversation:

"SMITH! Why isn't your report done?"
"I was working on it sir, but I was just to darn distracted by Jennings. She is so attractive."
"You are right she sure is. I'll tell her to tone it down so you can get your work done on time."
"I would really appreciate that. Thanks sir."

WHAT THE FUCK!? The correct response would be:

"Did you just say you were to distracted to do your work?"
"...Um..."
"Either get your work done or I am giving it to Jennings."

And while were at it - Ladies? When you see a hot chick at your office, try to take the high road and just let her be hot. She's not being hot just to make you feel bad about your huge ass. She probably can't help the hotness. If you feel her outfits are not appropriate for the work place, ask yourself this: If I had that body, would I still be wearing this turtleneck and jumper? Probably not. Let's try to put a stop to woman/woman hate in the workplace. I mean I never once complained to the boss about the ugly Christmas sweaters I had to endure during the Christmas season. I never complained because my co-worker with small boobs wasn't wearing a bra. Let's put an end to talking trash about each other and vow support each other ...

in being hot.