All You Ladies Who Truly Feel Me...

In just about every women's magazine there is an article warning women against a certain type of man. This article is usually called something like - "Stay Away From THIS Guy!" or "10 Guys Your Mother Warned You About". Not exactly witty or clever, but you get the point right off the bat. These lists usually contain generalized things like - Don't date a guy who carries a teacup poodle, or - Watch out for the guy who says "bro" and plays XBox on the weekend. (Now, I happen to agree with the afore mentioned generalizations, but I am a big enough gal to KNOW they are generalizations.) But the one thing that all of these articles have in common is this little tidbit that has been passed on from our mothers: DON'T DATE A JOBLESS GUY.

In my experience an adult man who does not have a job GENERALLY falls into one of three categories. 1. The Mama's Boy. This guy still lives at home with mom (and/or) Dad and mom still washes his clothes. He probably has a hobby that is highly artistic and thinks that going to work everyday would stifle his freedom. He is single. 2. The "looker" this guy seems to always be saying, "I have an interview with a great company tomorrow." But he never seems to actually go to work. If he works, it isn't for very long because he really doesn't want to work. His girlfriend pays for everything. 3. The Slacker. The slacker feels entitled and therefore - work is for losers. Why work? Food? That's what ramen is for. He crashes on couches and house sits.

None of these things are sexy, but, it got me thinking... Do men have the same standard? Would a man automatically discount a babe because she was unemployed?

I don't think so. I have known more than a few men who had girlfriends that didn't work. It didn't seem to bother them. Maybe men are more evolved than women and can look past a woman who is lazy and...no...I am writing it and I don't buy it.

I think it has to do with men feeling the need to "take care of" a woman. And, unfortunately there a plenty of women out there who make it their business (their JOB!) to take advantage of that fact. It's common knowledge that most men enjoy the provider role - it feeds into the male ego (and not in a bad way) and makes them feel "more like a man". Women who have held high paying jobs have often complained that they can't find a boyfriend because most men want to be the one who earns the most - they want to be the provider. And, there is nothing wrong with that. But, does that make it alright for us women to not work? Is a woman who is unemployed as attractive a a working woman? I really don't know and I'd like to. I know that an unemployed man is WAY less attractive to a woman than a guy with a job. Why?

I'll tell you why. Because we women don't want to be taken advantage of. We don't want the male version of those stupid girls in our lives - sucking away at our pay checks. We want to be able to pay our own way, and we want him to be able to do the same. Personally speaking - I have never dated a guy with a lot of money. Money really doesn't matter to me at all. I like to try to go 50/50 when it comes to dating. Ok... maybe I like to go 60/40, but still. I try to hold my own. It's the fact that he is WORKING and doing something other than sitting around drinking beer.

So, why the double standard? Why would a man happily make excuses for a woman not working (She's just looking for the right opportunity... She's thinking about going back to school... She's really looking for something creative...) and pay her way? I honestly don't know. It's not 1952 anymore and men don't have to literally bring home the bacon. I just know that a woman wouldn't do that. Not in most circumstances. Sure, there are exceptions, but not many. I think if a girl lived in her mothers basement, most guys would be ok with that. And I don't know why.

So? Guy, I need your help. Give it to me straight: Does it matter to you if she works? And, Why or why not? And ladies...do you think we are being a little harsh with our standards or are we not harsh enough?

For me, having a job and being a fully functional member of society is the very least a person (male or female) can do. Those of you who are doing laundry at mom's and mootching off your friends need a wake up call. Those of you who are looking to score a free ride from a Sugar Daddy, I got news for you too. THERE IS NO FREE RIDE. You are not doing yourself (or your boyfriend) any favors by letting him pay for you. I guess the point is, we ladies worked many many many many years to become independant - and we want a man who can not only appreciate that, but is just as independent as we are.

Sell Out

When I was an angsty, rebelious teen-ager (and even well into my twenties) one of the worst offenses that a band could commit was that of "selling out". If a grouped stooped so low as to let some beer or tennis shoe or car company use it's music - its ART - for a commercial, then that band was immediately written off. Back then, we had standards.

It started with the once bad ass Bob Seger turning into a car salesman. Bob Seger's "Like a Rock" is now more identifiable as a commercial than as a song. The late, great MJ decided to be a spokes person for Pepsi in the 80's and lost some major street cred (and hair). It got so bad in the early 90's that the band Genesis did a video for "I Can't Dance" mocking the trend. Neil Young joined Genesis in being annoyed with corporate rock and denounced it beautifully in his song "This Note's For You", which got him in hot water at the time. It just made me like him more. The once iconic Bob Dylan decided to take the money and run when he sold albums in Victoria's Secret of all places. I never liked him much to begin with, but slinging CD's with supermodels in corporate America didn't seem like a very Dylan-esq thing to do. He not only sold the rights to his song, but actually appeared in the Ad. Counterculture my ass.

Now, it's 2010 and things are a little different. Hell, they are a lot different. Kids are different. Teens and twenty somethings are SO used to being sold to (in every possible way) that mere product placement doesn't seem like a bad thing to them. In fact, advertisers have gotten so good at it, they have you asking "what song was that in the new ipod ad?", instead of "What group sold their soul to MAC this week?" Big Corporate America is literally in bed with the music industry now and they are not leaving.

Lady Gaga is the latest and most blatant offender. Her new video for her song "Telephone" is just one big commercial for products she not only endorses, but has financial stakes in the company. Is it just me, or is this a gross misuse of celebrity? First, the song isn't very good. Add to that, that the video involves brazen product placement, canned music and about a billion cliches and you have a recipe for disrespect. Every time she appears in public or in a video she is selling - not her music - her products. I find this distasteful and cheap. And, I guess I find her to be those things to. Her "Bad Romance has at LEAST 7 different brands in it...that's what I was able to catch. She has brought "selling out" to a whole new level. And, she has a generation of people raised on commercials, a generation of people who think buying stuff is "cool" if a celebrity has it, a generation of people who follow trends blindly - to use as her bitch. She has been chasing celebrity for years and she finally caught it. (Take a look at this clip from Mtv show "Boiling Point" from 2005. These shows are cast - it is no accident) I don't buy for a second that she "believes" in the company and wants it to succeed. I think she believes in the almighty dollar.

Especially the one in your pocket, chump.

Mi Familia

A dear friend of mine arrived in Prague yesterday with his girlfriend and some family. He used to live here, in fact I met him here. We have no history outside of Prague and he is a part of my Prague family. And that's a big deal. It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't packed a suitcase and boarded a plane (alone) bound for a foreign country where they speak a different language. You don't just make friends here - you make family.

Prague Family is rare because you are all sharing common experiences - your entire histories together are shared. You know ALL of the same people, have seen all of the same things and a lot of times, you even share the same job. It's easy to become completely attached to people like that. You depend on them and they you. Just like family. You share holidays together - cook the turkey, try hard to find cranberry sauce or a Halloween costume, make room for a little Christmas tree in your flat. You do all of the same things that families do - you fight, you laugh til you cry, you take weekend trips, you spend days doing nothing - but doing it together, you forgive and you forget.

And, as is the case with families - you move apart. A lot of my Prague family has moved on, some back to the states and some off to new lands having new adventures. But that doesn't keep them from being family. Most romantic relationships that BEGIN in Prague usually don't survive the transition back to America. Maybe its the pressures of living in America, or the pressures from old friends and family that just wasn't an issue back in Prague - but for whatever reason the magic spell ends.

My Prague Family has expanded and drifted, but we are still FAMILY. I now boast family in Germany, Georgia, Oregon, Italy, Nebraska, Washington DC, New York and well...all over the world. And that's cool. So, to my Prague family - and you know who you are - Thank you for the everlovin' bad ass moral support and most fun times I have ever had in my life.

XXOO