The Rules

People like rules. Rules make them feel secure, safe and in control. As a pre-school teacher I rely on rules to keep my class running smoothly, and to help the little buggers have a sense of security. I strictly adhere to rules when playing board games. Anyone who has played Monopoly with me knows that I don't fancy "house rules" like the popular "no parking" rule. (When ever you have to pay money to the bank, the money instead goes under the free parking space. If you land on it - you get the money.) I feel like the rules are there for a reason and help the game run smoothly and not last twelve and a half  years hours.

There are rules for everything. There are rules for driving and rules for math. There are rules for how you dress at work and rules for what you can take with you on an airplane. There are rules of etiquette and there are rules for dating. Wait. There are rules for dating? You bet there are.

I have been talking with friends about dating as of late and I have found some interesting things. Here is an example: Did you know there is a college "rule" floating around that gives you the mathematical formula to determine exactly how young of a person you are allowed to date? Seriously. (the rule is 1/2 your age + 7) So, for those people out there who cannot determine for themselves if it is alright to date a 15-year-old, or those who just lack common sense, there is now a RULE for you to follow. When someone brought this up at dinner the other day, one girl said - "Yeah! I have heard of that. It's totally true." Just because you hear about it, doesn't make it so.

I did a little research and found there are rules out there... lots of rules for dating. Most of them are common sense. Rules like: Don't date someone who is not over their ex (duh) or Don't date your best friends ex (double duh).

There are rules just for guys and rules just for ladies. Ladies? Our rules are things like: Don't get wasted like a college co-ed. Don't be too happy to see him. Don't talk about yourself too much. Make sure to make eye contact. Don't date him if he is broke, or has no job. Guys? Your rules aren't any better: Don't ask her out more than once. Don't tolerate intolerable behavior. Don't get stuck in the "Friend Zone" if she's hot and you think that ONE DAY you might have a shot. Don't be a doormat. Don't be available all the time. Stop paying for everything.

So it seems to me that women are encouraged to shut up and listen, pay when asked and put out regularly. Men are encouraged to keep a nice distance, set boundaries, and make sure she is hot. And what the hell is up with the "friend zone" thing? I did a little poking around and it seems that it only exists for men. there are TONS of pages dedicated on helping men get out of this horrible and fictitious place. But nothing for women. I guess guys have "girl" friends, and then realize that they are cool and then lack the balls necessary to tell her. Instead, there is a lot of game playing and weaseling about to get out of the "zone". Ugh. Grow up a little.

I didn't find one (not ONE!) list of dating rules that I find acceptable. So, I am making my own. These rules are for everyone - man and woman alike.

Alicia's Rules for Dating

1. Have Fun! - This is the most important rule. If you can't have a good time with the person, then stop hanging out with them.
2. Have good Hygiene - This goes for ladies and gentlemen. Please don't stink.
3. Looks aren't everything, but they are something - I'm not saying looks don't matter. Of course they do. Be attracted to the person, just don't go out of your way to make sure they are HOT or look "just right" you might be missing out on a cool person.
4. Go Dutch - I am not a fan of one person always paying, so I say share the cost.
5. Fuck the "friend Zone", the "three day rule" and all that other bullshit- If you feel a connection, go for it. Most women will feel happy and flattered that you like them, and hell you are a big boy and can probably guess at her reaction. Girls, same goes for you. If you don't like playing games then don't start them. Tell him you like him. Kiss him. You probably already know if he likes you so muster the courage to act on it. (no time limit on said mustering)

And that's how I see it. Simple huh?

Yeah... simple.