Word to Your Mother

I work with small people. Some might call them children, or brats or even scalawags - but I call them small people - Because, that's what they are. I also am lucky enough to call some of them my friends. Sure, I am strict and even yell sometimes, but I am also very liberal with hugs and high fives. My little friends like me. My goal is to EMPOWER not enable. When one of my small people comes to me and needs help with a tie of the shoe, or a zip of the coat they are told to try it themselves first. When one of my little munchkins tries to get out of an art project or clean up time by going to the bathroom or being lazy - they are reminded not to be lazy. Teach a kid to tie his shoes and...well...he can tie his shoes! I am proud to be one person who helps set boundaries for them. Some of them don't have any at all. NONE. They dictate to mom and dad what they want to eat and are allowed to talk back and be disrespectful. They play at the table and throw food - to which mom and dad reply, "Oh, well...they are children." My point exactly. Children thrive when there is a set regime and routine and rules to follow. it helps them feel secure in an otherwise scary world.

The enabling factor does not end with kids. It's everywhere. It is a huge crutch that a lot of people use and it needs to be broken. I know a bundle of twenty somethings that don't want to work - and DON'T - because mom and dad give them money. Some of them manage to hold a job for a month before getting bored and quitting, letting the parentals handle the finances. I know some couples that are all about the enable. Either he or she does EVERYTHING for their mate, making said mate lazy and useless. It sucks.

I guess I am writing this today because I am tired of watching people (mostly mom's and dad's at work) use love and selflessness as an excuse. You really love your kid? Teach them to be independent. It isn't right to DO everything for anyone. And, in the long run - it isn't about love at all. It is about the enabler feeling good about themselves. By trying to prevent crises or troubles or frustration, they are really just prolonging the problem. It's a motivation of fear and fear is the opposite of love.

So, mom's - dad's...? Think about how awesome your kid will feel when they are able to do things themselves. Think about how good you feel when you accomplish a task. Without asking for help. Feels pretty good, don't it? Cause really, which is more helpful - learning to do something, or having it done for you?

NaNoWriMo Update - The Halfway Mark

Today is November 15, which makes today the official half way point for NaNoWrimo. It is also the day that I take a step back from the computer I have chosen to chain myself to and ask myself, "What the fuck am I doing?" My "story" is going nowhere, my plot is split - I think I might be writing two stories - and to top it all off the soup I made seems to have little dough balls floating in it. Julia Child I am not.

I am receiving a lot of support from friends across the globe and my boyfriend thinks I am crazy. I am beginning to believe him. As I am typing this blog entry I am thinking that I could be using this time to work on the novel. The Novel! Who am I anyway?

What in the world led me to believe that I could write a novel in 30 days? I don't rightly know, but I am doing it. It is being done. It is taking every last ounce of nerve I have in my little body not to quit, but I am doing it. This is the year I don't quit. Follow through, that's the idea. Even if my character is boring, placid and lifeless, I will take her through to the very end. I just might kill her for fun. It'll make me feel better.

So faithful readers, I want you to know, that if I survive this month of torture, I will be back to my usual witty, bloggy self in December. I miss you.