Happy Anniversary

This month marks my 3-year anniversary here in Prague. And it doesn’t seem like just yesterday that I got off an airplane in the middle of the night, scared and alone in a new and very foreign place. It’s been quite a long journey. I didn’t know a soul here, and I was running away from what I thought was home. What I didn’t know was that I was running towards home. Prague is my home now.

When I landed here in October of 2006 I had short red hair with black highlights. I was insecure and frightened. I had no job and no friends.

My hair is not the only thing that has gone through a transformation.

I have been up and down here in Prague. I have been gainfully employed, and I have been broke. I have been fired and found work when I had too. I have had over 10 roommates. I have lived in great apartments and I have lived in rooms with no heat. I have made Thanksgiving dinners with all of the trimmings and I have spent weeks eating nothing but potatoes and ramen. I have spent the last three Christmases here watching the snow fall with other ex pats that could not afford to, or didn’t want to go “home” for the holidays. I have traveled to great European cities with not more than an hours notice. I have been blessed.

The biggest blessing has been the people I have met here. Since my very first day in Prague, I have had friends. I remember meeting Ben and Christina quite vividly – walking down the street from the Villa and headed towards the Norma market in Prague 9. Ben turns to us and says in a slight southern drawl, “So, ya’ll passionate about teaching?” We started laughing and a friendship was born. I met some amazing people in my TEFL course that will be close to me forever. Some of us spent 2 years here together before making our way to new adventures. I consider the staff at TEFL Worldwide Prague to be family. Even when I wasn’t working there, Cheryl and Terry (and Hana!) have taken the best care of me and looked out for my interests. For this I can never be grateful enough.

I have gotten used to some of the crappy things about living here – such as being pushed daily. Whether I am waiting for the Metro or waiting in line at the Albert, an old Czech lady will push me. I have gotten used to the lack of spices in food here, and have devised ways of making my own food flavorful. I know that service will not come with a smile and that it might not come…ever. I know that going to the post office in a former communist country is as close to hell as I ever wish to be. And I know that taking the tram in the middle of summer here requires nose plugs. (Still haven’t gotten used to the men and children peeing in the streets…and I won’t. Not ever!)

But for all of its faults, Prague is home. I live in a city with an actual castle! I have amazing friends here from all over the world. I look back at the girl who came here and I don’t really recognize her. I have learned how to survive anything and just roll with the punches. I guess the biggest lesson I have learned here is that ultimately in life you have only yourself to rely on. For the very first time in my life I am completely independent. (I realized that somewhere on a bus in the middle of Mexico.) I am living my life the way I want to. I make my own money and have fought to stay here. The friendships I have here are not due to convenience or locality – they are friends I have chosen. I came to this place three years ago a victim and I have recovered. I am my own person now. Sure, that person is a little quirky and maybe crazy sometimes, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Heck, without the sour the sweet just ain’t as sweet.

To all of the people who have helped me get to where I am I want to say thank you and I love you. You know who you are.

And They Lived Happily Ever After

Take one beautiful Princess and introduce her to a handsome, charming Prince. Let them fall in love. Then add an ugly, wicked, evil Queen who spites the Princess for her beauty or her lovely voice or just because she’s bored. Place the Princess in peril or mortal danger and let the Prince rescue her. The happy couple will live happily ever after. The end.

That ladies and gentlemen is the basic formula for a Fairy Tale. I have always loved Fairy Tales. Cinderella is my favorite; although when I was a little girl I was convinced that she was two different people - the maid, and the girl who goes to the Ball. I never said I was a bright kid…vivid imagination though. Cinderella would be a totally different story if she had a split personality. Sybill-rella?

I have read reports saying that Fairy Tales are harmful to children, that these stories teach a kid that being pretty is the most important thing in the world. These people claim that attractive women and men are more “socially rewarded” than unattractive people. And this is due to reading fairy tales. It is also said that women expect their lives to end “happily ever after” because of stories like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

To this I say – poppy cock. I never expected to be rescued by a Prince, and a wicked Queen has never cursed me. Well, not that I know of. I have been giving this matter a lot of thought lately, as I seem to have taken the relationship version of the road less traveled. I look on Facebook and see many of my old High School comrades married and with scores of kids, cars, pets and other trappings of domestic bliss. They seem to be living happily ever after. But is there more than one way to live happily ever after?

Sure there is. People in Fairy Tales have perfect lives and perfect histories. Cinderella and the Prince never get in fights about money, and Rapunzel never gained twenty pounds or cut her hair off for ease and comfort. Real people, meaning you and me folks, we have imperfect lives and histories when we meet someone and fall in love. Think about it. What if Snow White had an ex-husband? What if Sleeping Beauty had a couple of kids before Prince Charming walked into her life? And what about the Prince? What if he was great looking but had a low paying job or his feet smelled really bad? This is real life and if you want to live happily ever after out here in the real world, then these are the kind of things that you have to deal with.

I haven’t given up on finding my story book ending. I just don’t expect it to be perfect. I expect it to be fun and difficult and joyous and exciting. I don’t “need” anyone to make my life complete or to (pardon the Jerry MacGuire quote) complete me. I am complete. We need a witness to our lives. In a relationship you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the boring things... the laundry, the lay offs, the great sex and the happy birthdays. All of it. All of the time. Every day. You are agreeing with your partner to notice their life, you are saying – “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness.” (That was lifted from a film…)

So, I’ll take my imperfections and his as well. I’ll have a heaping portion of romance and reality in equal amounts and leave the knight on his gallant steed for some other girl. Because in my Fairy Tale the Prince loves the Princess and they fight and make love and dance and pay bills and have kids and well...
they live.

I like Books Better Than I like Most People

Once a year I like to give a little round up of what I have read. It seems a lot of ya'll appreciate some ideas of what to read, and I am a huge dork who likes to make lists. So...Here is this years list of what I have read. Enjoy!

OCTOBER
*Darkmans - Nicola Barker: Um, yeah...a little tough to get through. Let me know if you managed to finish this one.
*Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - Read it about 4 times...love it every time

NOVEMBER
*The Portrait - Ian Pears: Strange little book about art and revenge and the art of revenge. It was alright.
*The Book of Laughter and Forgetting - Milan Kundera: Czech author - GREAT read. Love him.

DECEMBER
*No Saints or Angels - Ivan Klima: Another Czech author. Depressing but VERY well writen. About family in Prague...and love and...well...read it.
*Snow Falling On Cedars - I liked this more than I thought I would. The story was less all mushy girl stuff and more - war is bad. Good read.
*The Beach - Loved it! Super fun read and WAY better than the movie. Great narrative voice. Good for anyone who likes to travel

JANUARY
*Sophie's Choice - William Styron: AMAZING. One of the best books I have ever read. That being said, it was also very difficult. Not writing wise, but topic. Just incredible and horrifying.
*Concise Chinese-English Dictionary for Lovers: Cute. Being an English teacher added a little something as well. It tells about love and sadness and how it translates into any language. Very sweet and poetic.

FEBRUARY
*Glass Books of the Dream Eaters: Action packed from start to finish. Almost too many characters to keep up with, but a lot of fun.
*The Probable Future: I loved it. Typical Alice Hoffman - magic, love, tragidy. Fun book.

MARCH
*The New Earth - Eckhart Tolle: 2nd time around with this one. READ THIS BOOK.
*This Side of Paradise - F. Scott Fitzgerald: Hi. Pretentious much? Ugh. HATED this. If you want to read about rich young kids and their problems go for it. I had no sympathy for anyone in this book.

APRIL
*Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao: Just perfect. A really fresh new voice and characters you won't forget.
*A Thousand Acres - Jane Smiley: WOW. Great book of family tragedy. Wonderfully written.
*Mosquito Coast: Great, but made me mad at the same time. I guess its good writing when you want to punch a fictional character in the face.

May
*If You Ask Me... - Libby Gellman-Waxner: Movie reviews from the fictional reviewer. Very funny.
*Innocent Traitor: For all of those Phillipa Gregory fans out there. This tells the story of the girl crowned Queen for 9 days and was the...done away with.
*Quiet Belief In Angels - R.J. Ellroy: Someone keeps murdering and dismembering little girls...for about 20 years. The story of how a young boy and a town deal with it. Great book.

JUNE
*Saving Fish From Drowning - Amy Tan: I liked this book. It is a BIG departure from what Amy Tan usually does, but that was a good thing. It gives a really neat perspective on how Americans act and how we THINK we act.
*Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - Sedaris: Totally funny, as usual.
*The Virgin's Lover - Phillipa Gregory: Yawn. She dialed it in and I didn't pick up. Snooze fest. Fans of hers should pass this one up.

JULY
*The Shadow of the Wind: GREAT murder Mystery set in Spain in the fifties. Really well done!
*pride and prejudice and zombies: WAY tooo much fun. Worth it just for the illustrations.
*Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant - Anne Tyler: Agian, family saga that is very well written.

AUGUST
*The Right Stuff - Wolfe: I might be the only person alive who didn't really like this book. His wrting style gets in the way. I liked the movie better.
*The Constant Gardner - LeCarre" Thriller, murder mystery and love story. It was a fast and good read. I don't usually read these types of books, but this was fun.

September
*The Hummingbird's Daughter - Really beautiful. A lot of the story took place in the town I lived in while in Mexico. This book is full of culture, magic and beauty.
*My Sister, My Love - Joyce Carol Oates: A really different voice for her. She is one of my favorite authors and I really enjoyed the departure she took here. As usual though, the subject matter is dark, violent and disturbing.

So, there ya have it! i will be on to more "bloggy" blogs right quick. Don't fret. I just wanted to get this out. A few of you had been asking... ENJOY!

The Mullet Stops Here.

Of all the pejorative terms out there, I think the most accurate and well deserved is "White Trash". It has gotten kind of a glamorous face lift in the past few years, what with TV shows like "My Name is Earl" and the rise of the "Dumb Blonde" as a visual ideal for women. Chicks are now considered "cool" if they drink PBR from the can while sporting a cowboy hat, a 14 carat gold lightening bolt necklace and tell tale roots. But these are just the mere trappings of "white trash" that the rest of America has taken under its gentrified wing and claimed as its own.

Real white trash doesn't really shine quite as bright, does it? Under those shiny, over-sized hoop earrings lies plain old aluminum. The kind of stuff that makes your earlobes turn green. Real White Trash has a bad hair do and smells of stink, not Sixth Avenue. It's the type of person who may or may not have a missing tooth and may or may not have finished high school. Real white trash hangs out in front of the Wal-Mart and harasses passers by. Case in point: A friend of mine recently shared with me that her 17 year old son was trying to find a book for school, and as a last resort went to Wal-Mart. (Said friend hates Wal-Mart as much as I hate Starbucks.)While perusing what must be the amazing selection of books at Wal-Mart (and not finding the best selling "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell) my friends son was given a verbal drive by from a random guy. "Cut your hair, you fucking Hippie!". You'd think after all this time, assholes would come up with something new - but you'd be wrong. At any rate, this long haired 17 year old left the store empty handed, and a little annoyed.

But that is not the end (or the point) of this story. When he got out to the parking lot, the jerk was sitting in the bed of his flatbed with a white trash friend ... waiting. These are two grown men hanging out at a Wal-Mart at 4pm on a week day, just waiting to harass. These two upstanding citizens proceeded to call this kid a "fucking fag" and then threatened to beat his ass. Why? Because they didn't like his hair. Hell, I wasn't there, but I have a feeling that this is a case of the Mullet calling the kettle black. I'm just sayin'.

"These Type" of people are not limited to America. Just the other day I was told of a few Czech assholes who were getting their jolly's from harassing the owners (and kid!) of a local Vietnamese market.

How are people like this getting away with their behavior? I don't know, but I know that they are. Everyday, someplace in the world, some white trash dick heads are perpetuating a stereo-type. Right now in Tujunga, CA some jerk is listening to White Snake just a little too loud in his truck cab, as he gets out and HOOTS at a woman leaving the 7-Eleven. And no one bothers to say a word.

We can't let this continue, dear readers. Sure - it's fun to have "White Trash" theme parties, eat cheese in aerosol form on a Triscuit, and wear white Pleather boots with fringe now and then. But let's let it end there. If you see someone being mean - say something! Here in the CZ, people are more likely to stop and help a dog than they are a person. Being disrespectful and rude is not one of the cute, funny things we should want to emulate from white trash culture.

Let's just take the food, fashion mistakes and the music and call it even.

These Aren't the Droids You're Looking For...

I have always loved Star Wars. I saw the first one at the Chinese Theater in Hollywood when I was just a tiny thing, but I remember it. Watching Princess Leia and Luke swing across the vast cavern of the Death Star left one big impression. I had Star Wars figures, R2D2 Underoo's, I ate C3P0's Breakfast cereal and I had a Chewbaca necklace. I was a fan. Still am. I can still make a pretty good Light Saber noise.

It came down to the good guys (the Jedi) and the bad guys (um, everyone else - ex Jedi). The Jedi follow a doctrine and discipline regime that pretty much make them feel morally and well, overall superior to other folks in the Galaxy. Next time you watch Empire Strikes Back - listen to the way Luke, Yoda and the rest of the Jedi talk. You kinda want smack the smirk off 'em. I get why the Emperor gets so pissed. But you know the deal - the Jedi use the force for good and save the galaxy.

Enter the Jedi Church. Yep, you heard me - The JEDI CHURCH. Some 23 year old, uber dork in the UK actually went as far as to make a bonafide Religion out of it. I like Star Wars and all, but I think that this is taking your dork flag and waving it just a little too proudly. The Jedi faith now boasts 500,000 dorks - sorry, members. And now, like every other bonafide religion, they are screaming "INTOLERANCE".

This story basically says that the Jedi Church founder (of course it was the founder. Nice way to get some press!) Daniel Jones went into a Tesco store in full Jedi regalia and was asked to remove his hood. He said, it is against my religion. Tesco told the young Jedi that, Obi Wan, Yoda and others appeared in public without hoods and never crossed over to the dark side. Way to go Tesco. And, I am sorry, but there are TONS of examples where Jedi go hoodless. Most female Jedi are never seen wearing a hood. And, I have to wonder if these reported 500,000 worldwide members really adhere to that rule. I have yet to see a Jedi roaming the streets.

A store has a right to ask people not to wear a hood. It is really easy to steal with one of those on, and security can't see who is underneath said hood. Makes sense. What doesn't make sense is why the church founder, all of the sudden, is facing so called discrimination. I read through the Jedi website...and it costs money to join. Well, to get your name printed on a certificate making you and official dork - shit, sorry - Jedi. $20 Bucks and you too can holler discrimination.

I guess if it were me, and I was a real Jedi, I would have just done the old Jedi mind trick on the Tesco employee and have been done with it. But, then I wouldn't be in the news now would I.

And the Douche Bag Award goes toooooo...

By now everyone has heard that Kanye West took his ego for a walk again recently. This time it was across little miss Taylor Swift's MTV - Video Music Awards acceptance speech. I have said it before and I'll say it again: I think Kanye West is a douche bag. I am not talking about his "music" here, I am talking about HIM - as a human being. This is not the first time the dude has let his mouth get him into trouble. He has raised a ruckus at the VMA's, the Grammy's and I believe he made some disturbing comments about former President Bush. Now, whether or not you agree with him is up to you, but the fact remains his actions are rude and disrespectful. And public.

When you - Joe or Jane Normal - decide to make a rude comment, or act disrespectfully, you know you will have consequences. And if you act rude in PUBLIC - say, tell off a waiter in a fancy restaurant - you might have even harsher consequences to deal with. That is the way the world works. As a society we have certain expectations: Be polite. Be nice. Signal when changing lanes. Don't give your opinion unless asked. But it seems certain celebrities think these rules do not apply to them. Kanye is one of them. He seems to have surpassed "Big Ego" and ventured into the realm of "Bully". My guess is that the only folks that were not offended by his outburst this time was the mega marketing machine known as MTV. (And subsequently Comedy Central and VH1 - all owned by Viacom) They will be able to get more tweens watching every time it is replayed, as well as get tons of millage out of the hilarious "Fish Dicks" episode that pokes fun at Kanye's ego.

Now Kanye seems to be repenting (on T.V.) and wants to take time to reflect. I have to wonder if he would feel the same way if he hadn't had gotten booed off the stage. My guess is not. And I bet we won't be hearing the last from his ego either. What's the old adage? There is no such thing as bad press... And the fact that I sit here writing about it when I should be mourning Patrick Swayze just proves it.

Prague Blog!: You make clay sexy

Prague Blog!: You make clay sexy

Pretty Baby

Long before T.V became the glossy, million channeled marketing device that it is today - I loved it. Television was simple. Cartoons didn't have a network, they had Saturday mornings. Television movies were an event (i.e. Thornbirds) and having a favorite show meant waiting all week for a new episode and actually watching it when it aired - commercials and all. As for me, I wouldn't miss an episode of Dynasty, and I loved to watch the Miss America Pageant. Each year my family would gather together with bowls of popcorn and rootbeer floats to watch 52 pretty women parade, sing, dance, twirl, and give speeches all in hopes of winning a really big shiny tiara. It was fabulous. And not just because I had a knack for picking the winner. I really just liked watching pretty girls in big fancy dresses. I still do.

It seemed that Miss South Carolina or Miss Texas or some other southern state would always win. The bigger the hair and the more make-up you slathered on, the better your chances of winning. (I think women in Texas must look at everyday life as The Miss America Pageant because the amount of hairspray and Maybellene usage in that state baffles me.) Sure she had to have poise and grace. She had to be able to keep smiling while walking down stairs in a bathing suit, high heels and a sash while Regis Philbin sang at her. That can't be easy. She also had to have a platform. If memory serves, all of the contestants had the same platform - education, community involvement, or helping "special" children. It always seemed that they had a little brother or sister with some issue or another and they wanted to use their face and bikini ready figure to call much needed attention to it. She'd get all misty eyed as she would say, "My little brother Timmy had cerebral palsey and as Miss America, I will help raise awareness and money to help him and other amazing, brave kids like him..." Yeah. Sure honey. It has nothing to do with the millions of dollars in scholarships or the television appearances.

And that's fine. Really. I have absolutely NO problem with 20-something women trying to make their way in the world. And I don't want to hear that it's all about their face and figure. We don't sit around chastising young women who want to become actresses, do we? That is an industry based fully (these days) on your appearance. So, I want to give these women a break. They are all educated, grown women.

Unlike a six year old.

A few days ago I watched this documentary called "Baby Beauty Queens" about the Little Miss UK contest. I was shocked. And not at the little girls. I was shocked at the mothers. One mom gave her SEVEN YEAR OLD child plastic surgery. One mother said that the lord gives us all talents, and her daughter's talent is being pretty. Since when is your face a talent?

I liked to play dress-up and put on make-up when I was little. I think most little girls do. Mom would give us old clothes, or some sequined dresses bought at a yard sale, and we would put them on and play grown up lady at a party. It was harmless fun. There was never EVER an emphisis on being pretty. I never recall my mom ever telling me that the most important thing was my looks, or my hair or anything like that. And, I never recall it being forced on me. I never had to practice dress up or make-up. I never competed against other little girls for money I would never see.

This is what I don't understand. We are raising a generation of girls who are told being pretty and liked is the most important thing - and then we get angry at them for seeking out attention. As a parent (if I were one, and if I ever become a mom please hold me to it) I would think we would know better. Isn't it time we stop telling little girls lies like "Your hair is your crowning glory" or "Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses". Hair is just hair. It grows back. And there are about a million websites dedicated to "sexy" librarians in glasses. My point is - let's leave the looks at the door. Maybe start telling little Susie how smart she is, rather than how pretty. Maybe we could make room for flaws. What is a seven year old girl supposed to think about herself when her mother tells her she is ugly?

Sure, we will always judge people on their looks - it's human nature. But maybe, just maybe we can learn not to judge ourselves on our looks. There is that saying - It takes a village to raise a child. I gotta say, if my child is raised in a village that makes her face more important than her brain - we are SO moving!